Just Say

I love my new job. I think I might actually go into Early Childhood Education because of it. My favorite age group to work with is Twos. I love them. They're easier than Toddlers and not as annoying as Preschoolers, and if I couldn't work with Twos I would work with Pre-K. Right now I'm in as a support, so I don't really get to choose where I go, but that's okay, I like moving around and interacting with each age group because there's more variety of experience and I think I need that.

I hate this waiting. I don't care if it's essentially a sure thing, I need to know the answer now.

Today I was in Toddler 5 and Sam woke up from his nap way earlier than everyone else, so I gave him some books to read, but eventually had to just make him lay down quietly because he was talking to himself. And he kept watching me, so I started blowing him kisses from across the room and after a few times he started blowing me kisses too and smiling, it was the first time I'd seen him smile all day, it made me happy.

So the Monday after Wildwood I was in Twos 4 with Devin and found out that he is the director for Imperial Dynasty Percussion (the Drumineese show that took first in Independent A this year). Anyway, he wants me to be in the pit because he's been looking to expand and I told him that I played in high school. How amazing is that?! I am so excited. He's going to tell me what dues are by the end of the month (they're planning to go to Dayton next year so they have to figure costs and such), but I don't really care how much it is, I want to do it so bad.

Save the Music was so amazing. I very much wish I had been singing in it again.

I was talking to my mom the other night and we got to the topic of transferring and how she wasn't all that surprised. I am very much the observer before I open up to people, and she said that she thinks that when I didn't see anywhere to fit in and I didn't have somewhere safe and familiar to return to each night (my dorm room and roommate weren't exactly comforting) I couldn't handle it. I see her point. She said that my dad was surprised though, which I can also understand because I think that when I'm comfortable I come off as more independent and confident than I really am. It's funny when fears come true, because as much as I dread something happening I never truly believe that it will. I dreaded not being able to make friends, but I thought I would anyway, and then I didn't. Everything happens for a reason I suppose, I just don't know what this reason is yet.

She also said that we need to have a back-up plan just in case. I don't want a back-up plan. I don't want to think about this not happening.

I really like working every day (because otherwise I'd be bored and lonely), but it makes the week soooo long. I'm so tiiired.

I feel bad that my friends are coming home from college for the summer, and that my high school friends will be out of school, but I'll still be working every day and have swim practice and have my second job twice a week. I hate not having time for everyone I want to hang out with.