We'll See Where This Leads

This is not where I planned on ending up. I don't understand how everything got so flipped around. In my ideal life I'm supposed to be away at college, on a beautiful campus, with these crazy amazing friends that I love living with and talking to, I'm supposed to be having intelligent conversations and good times with said friends, I'm supposed to be learning awesome things and taking cool classes. I am not supposed to be stuck between colleges. I was not supposed to utterly fail at making friends. I am not supposed to feel this insane pulling in all directions and feel the complete impossibility of decisions crashing down upon my head. 

Nothing happens the way it is supposed to. I was reading Maureen Johnson's blog earlier and she imparted this brilliant little piece of wisdom in the course of her writing: 

"And if you think there is a set way a story (or life) is supposed to go, you are mistaken—and happily so. Because there is a lot of fun to be had and things to be learned when you shake off those preconceptions. "

So I'm honestly going to try to just let things happen, to be as they are, to make the best of what decisions I have to make. But at the same time I want to be upset about it for a while, it really does suck. Don't you ever just want a day or two to give up and be upset and brood? Aside from those times that hormones force that attitude upon you without consent. I know it'll end up being okay, but right now, I don't know anything. So we'll see where this leads.